Sometimes you can’t help it. You just glance over and there it is, a girl in a bikini skimping down and getting into her wetsuit. And when a beautiful lady is naked under a towel, it’s pretty difficult not to sneak a peek or two while she schimmies that wetsuit on or off. Ask any guy, it’s just our nature.

And yes, I have been known to bash the south in the past. I can’t stand the Florida Gators, I f-king hate the made up word “y’all”, and some rednecks can’t see past skin color and it makes me sick. Now I’ve got a new thing to add to this list: the weird crab people that are slowly taking over Hatteras.

Will it combine with the lingering low pressure system we have, that’s actually spiraling, will it create a perfect storm, will it sink the Outer Banks and join the untold number of shipwrecks just off the coastline?

Upon entering the narrow doorways I was immediately stared at, as if I my pants weren’t tight enough to get in the door or something.

Obviously, the archaic McCain could probably give two shits about having a woman as his VP canidate. But his advisors think that the disgruntled Hillary supporters will jump ship just because Palin has tits and gets a visit from a special friend once a month.

Semis, buses, and big rigs were whizzing by at 70 mph and with every passing vehicle Carl’s truck would sway on the jack.

“It is horrifying that we have to fight our own government to save the environment.” - Ansel Adams

I looked over at the calendar the other day and it hit me that August is almost through. Where the hell did summer go?

Or imagine ‘Captain Ass Slap,’ as Jon Stewart referred to our President as, getting pushed into waves by the likes of Koby Abberton because George would undoubtedly wanna follow in Paris’ footsteps.

“Yeah, it was about belly button high.” Belly button high? Yes, I have a belly button. Don’t we all have belly buttons.